~I Let Go~

Eight months ago I returned to the U.S. from Bali, Indonesia. Upon my return, I felt like a complete stranger returning to an unknown land. Everything around me was much the same as it was before that September day when I boarded a plane headed to Bali knowing nothing ( I do mean nothing – nothing about the land, the people, the currency, where would I stay, would I be safe — so many questions so little answers – my plan was not to have a plan).

The experience itself was life changing on every level (some that I have yet to process through). I haven’t been able to look at my journal, the photos, or think much about Bali since returning. I simply miss it. I miss the people. I miss the delicious food. I miss my daily sunsets and sunrises. 

One of the best lessons I learned while traveling around Bali was to Let Go! Traveling alone to a foreign country forces you to let go!  A friend gave me the enclosed poem in the weeks leading up to my departure. As I was preparing to leave Bali, I took the poem with me to sunset one evening and cried as I read the words. I had learned a VERY valuable lesson – let go and trust life! 

I am proud to report that I have done relatively well in the area of letting go since the return. I know the feeling of HOLDING on all too well (it shows up as LOCK JAW for me). I know the feeling of trusting that things will work out. Sure, I have to show up and do the work. Alas, the right things happen when I trust and let go of control. 

May you enjoy the words that touched me so deeply and continue to touch my spirit. 

“She let go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do
it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone
forevermore…”

– Ernest Holmes.

{post script: after researching this poem, it is more likely attributed to Rev. Safire Rose, a SOM minister, rather than Ernest Holmes}

With Gratitude, Brandi J.

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