in 2012, i stood peering out at this very ocean with much angst and trepidation. It was my return from one of the most soul enriching experiences of my life – traveling abroad alone for 2.5 months – allowing my mind and my heart to be blown wide open by so many enriching experiences and people whom I had met during my time.
Now, i was heading “home” to start the next adventure – but, standing on that beach that day, I honest to goodness had NO idea what that next adventure would look like. Travel was in my blood – it had reshaped my DNA and gave me so many life lessons. What next? How do you compete with this?
I had to figure out what I would do for work (real world was knocking), where-o-where would I lay my head each night for sleep and so many other thoughts that I was able to neglect thinking about for those 2.5 sweet and precious months until my feet his the sand on a US beach. REALITY WAS CRASHING LIKE THE WAVES.
Re-entry back to my ROOTS was one of the hardest things I had to deal with. I felt as though I no longer fit with anything (ideas, people, places, thoughts) that I had left behind. And, as exciting as that was – it felt lonely and terrifying. So, I did what always comes natural to me – I started running my arse off to find my way. Running for me is truly a practice of meditation (I don’t sit well – but I run well).
I decided to start my own company (http://www.bibuz.com/) – a variation of all the jobs I’d ever had in the technology world merged with a general do-gooder attitude and heart. Connecting people, technology and creating COOL stuff. BizzBuzz was started in a lovely Dallas coffee house in 2012. It’s been a true labor of love – SO many LESSONS learned – some that left me lying on the couch in the fetal position and others that literally made my heart pop out of my chest with excitement. It matters not what we are delivering (because we can deliver anything) – it is (and always will be) about the PEOPLE that I get to create with.
I reconnected with Joe (my former husband) and now beloved life partner (cause this guy just totally gets me). He’s my rock. Our journey started at an early age with him being my first real life crush (age 11 for me). We chuckle these days as we sit together in our tiny RV knowing that we were destined to be together throughout this life time. We lift each other up, we push each other to new levels of experience (we are going to learn to fly fish over the summer in the same river that Brad Pitt once displayed beautiful fly fishing) and daily we work at being two perfectly imperfect humans who make mistakes, have strong emotions (all coupled with living in a tiny space). It works.
We’ve moved to another state (Boulder, CO) and loved it for about a minute (enter RV). We’ve adopted a four legged guy into our world – we can’t even imagine our life without him.
I had NO idea what or how any of this would transpire as I looked out into BIG BLUE (with utter trust because believe me my knees were shaking in 2012).
I once shared with a friend this term that I’d stumbled upon many times in my life – ta·bu·la ra·sa (defined: an absence of preconceived ideas or predetermined goals; a clean slate.). As I stood on the beach that day – I had a clean slate and as daunting as the task would be – I got to start creating again – which today continues to be a try something, test it, revise, revise again, take what you like, leave the rest, rinse and repeat.
So, as you can imagine standing on this beach yesterday with my love(s) after submitting a proposal to a client – my heart was full. My life is full. That doesn’t mean it is easy – because trials are part of the journey (the 41 year old me gets this).
We know NOT what is next for us. we take it one day at a time. we work hard | we play hard (a motto that a partner Mark Sneed at KPMG taught me to live by) and we ENJOY THE JOURNEY (a motto that my dear friend Jim Trent taught me).
dream higher than the sky and deeper than the ocean.